Chapter 1. Before collision: The Physics of Coming Home

Life was alright. It was moving. Work, days, people, plans, all of it. Nothing was really wrong. I liked the pace too, honestly. It was cool. No massive void, no dramatic “something is missing” type shit. Fast Forward Then I'm driving to Rishikesh.

And I don’t know why, but everything felt different. I was excited, obviously. But nervous too. Like proper nervous. I was about to see you after five years, and that is not a normal thing to casually process on a drive.

I left Rishikesh in February 2021.

I came back in February 2026.

Same month. Five years later. That’s kinda insane, no?

Maybe it was just a coincidence. Or maybe it really did a full circle and brought me back to the exact place where a version of me had left something unfinished. Because I don’t think feelings like that just disappear. Consevatio of Energy says energy can’t be created or destroyed. It just changes form. It moves somewhere else. It hides. It becomes something different, but it never really goes away.

And yo, maybe that was us. Maybe whatever I felt for you back then didn’t die. Maybe it just went quiet for a while. Maybe it turned into old songs, random memories, stupid little things that reminded me of you. I kept calling it nostalgia because admitting it was still love felt too real.

So yeah, I let it sit there. I let it be.

Fast forward, you picked me up. Once again i was sitting behind you while you were driving,

We drove to the place, and the guy asked you to take the helmet off.

And then you did

Bro.

What the fuck was that moment?

You flipped your hair back and looked at the camera, and I swear something in me just stopped. Ofcourse, not the world around me. The traffic was probably outside. People were probably talking.

But inside me?

Dead silence.

There you were.

My Saumyaa.

As beautiful as ever, which is kinda unfair to say because it doesn’t even explain it properly. You didn’t just look beautiful. You looked familiar in a way that hit me in my chest. Like something I had spent years looking for without realising I was looking for it.

While I was still trying to process that whole moment, we went upstairs.

And then you hugged me. Not even a normal hug either. Nah Nah Nah You literally crawled up to me and climbed onto me like a little kid. And bro, I don’t know how to explain it without sounding insane, but that touch did something to me.

Your hair was right there.

That familiar smell.

The way you held me.

Then that kiss.

And for a second, it didn’t feel awkward. It didn’t feel like “damn, we haven’t seen each other in five years.” It didn’t feel like we had to relearn each other or figure out where to put our hands or what to say.

It felt like we saw each other yesterday. Like we had just paused somewhere in 2021, and life hit play again in 2026.

That’s what was so crazy about it.

It felt surreal, but not in a distant, unreal way. More like getting home after being away so long that you forgot what home feels like, and then do pallo wala door opens and your whole body is like, “oh. Yeah. This.”

That was you.

And in that exact second a thousand questions hit me at once.

How did I ever convince myself I was over this?

How did I let five whole years pass without coming back to you?

How did I not know that this was still living inside me?

Because yo, my body knew before my brain did.

My heart knew before I had the words for it.

But I think I get it now.

It had to be that time.

It had to be that day.

It had to be you taking off that helmet in front of me after five whole years.

There’s this thing called resonance. So basically, something can be around energy forever and nothing happens yeah?. It can sit there, untouched, unmoved. But when the timing is right, when the frequency matches exactly, suddenly it starts moving. Suddenly everything clicks.

That was that moment.

Maybe I had the feeling in me for years and it was finally like Cool. Bet. So this is what it was.

And maybe life didn’t bring me back to Rishikesh so I could relive the past.

Maybe it brought me back so I could stop running from what I always wanted.

When you love someone, you don't just stop. People roll their eyes, call you crazy, tell you to move on. Cool. But if I could just wake up one day and decide not to love you anymore because it's hard, then it was never love in the first place. It would've just been another thing I liked until it got inconvenient. And that's never been you.

Maybe this sounds dumb, but I keep thinking about quantum entanglement. Two particles connect, and somehow distance stops mattering the way it's supposed to.

Because realistically?

Distance should've worked by now.

Time should've worked by now.

Logic should've worked by, every late night, every missed call, every reason to let go should've worked by now.

But here I am. And maybe that's because every time I think I've finally gotten out of your orbit, I end up getting pulled right back in. Yo, it's so how the entire universe is basically designed to pull things apart. Stars burn out, galaxies drift away. Everything keeps moving further from everything else.

And somehow my heart just keeps finding its way back to you. So, if this is some kind of test, alright. Bet. And if being with you is really, really hard, then I don't want easy.

I don't want a version of my life where I only love you when it's convenient. I don't want a love that's only real when everything lines up perfectly. I'd rather be the idiot fighting for you.Because if the universe itself showed up with charts, graphs, equations, and a whole study explaining why I should move on, I'd still be sitting there like, "yeah that's cool and all, but have you considered.................. her?"

crazy right? but I'd rather spend a lifetime reaching for you than live a lifetime pretending I never wanted to.